“And remember, no matter where you go, there you….” – Unknown
Introduction:
It’s a common misconception that the job itself is the root cause of burnout. However, it’s not necessarily true. In reality, it’s our behaviors – the very same ones that drive us to success – that can also drive us to burnout if not balanced.
We all yearn for success, security, impact, and balance. We want a significant income, a sense of purpose and contribution, and a harmonious work-life equilibrium. Yet, without all three components, we’re bound to continue the cycle of burnout.
The true causes of burnout [HINT: It’s NOT your job!] 👀
Earning a great salary without creating a meaningful impact or maintaining a balanced lifestyle will leave you unsatisfied. If you’re earning well but aren’t doing work you love, it’s insufficient. Likewise, if you have income and impact but lack balance, you’ll inevitably face burnout. Achieving all three is crucial for a fulfilling career.
Most of us tend to approach our jobs unsustainably due to certain traits. Have you ever switched jobs or industries, taken a sabbatical, or stepped back, only to find yourself repeating the same patterns? Despite changing external circumstances, if you don’t change your approach, you’ll remain in the same position. As the saying goes, “Wherever you go, there you are.”
Understanding your contribution to burnout and exhaustion is the fastest way to address it and make lasting changes.
The Five Success Traps
Let’s delve deeper into what I call the five traps of success – traits that, while contributing to your success, can also lead to burnout if unbalanced.
These are:
1. People Pleasing
Do you find yourself constantly overworking, driven by the need for approval and fear of rejection? It’s a common situation many face, just like Sarah. Known as the ‘go-to person’ in her office, she was admired and praised. But beneath that, a fear of criticism pushed her to keep taking on more, leading her towards burnout.
At Serene Success, we believe it’s essential to align with your values and understand when to say ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ Even if you’re a hard worker, pushing yourself too much can lead to exhaustion. It’s okay to say ‘no’ sometimes; you don’t have to please everyone.
Fear of rejection often fuels this behaviour, but at Serene Success, we help you reframe these fears. By honoring our decisions and aligning our actions with our values, we can achieve success without burning out. Take small steps towards change today and progress over time!
2. Perfectionism
The pursuit of perfection can be both a blessing and a curse. Like Tina, a senior marketing strategist known for her flawless campaigns, you might find yourself setting sky-high standards and obsessing over minute details. And while this drive can lead to superior results, it can also stir up stress, anxiety, and eventual burnout.
Perfectionism is on the rise, with scores increasing significantly between 1989 and 2016. But at the heart of it lies fear – fear of mistakes, criticism, and inadequacy.
At Serene Success, we help you identify and shift the dialogue with your inner critic towards compassion. We help you face and reframe the fear of criticism and failure, allowing you to maintain high standards without being driven by fear.
Remember, you don’t have to achieve perfection to deliver results. You can be positively drawn towards your goals, finding balance and presence in your daily life.
3. Helping
Are you constantly extending a helping hand, placing others’ needs before your own? Do you find your self-worth intertwined with being needed? If this sounds like you, know that you’re not alone. This innate desire to help, though admirable and often appreciated, can lead to neglecting your own needs, causing burnout.
We understand. Most of us, especially women, are raised to prioritize others, to be the steady rock others can lean on.
Consider Raquel, a successful Medical Writing Executive Director, a dedicated wife, and a constant helper. She’s always there for others, often sidelining her own needs. But over time, this self-neglect led Raquel to a place of dissatisfaction and burnout. She confessed, “I lost myself.”
At Serene Success, we see you. We understand your struggle. We’re here to help you rediscover your needs and desires, to teach you how to voice them, and to guide you in achieving them.
Remember, you matter. Your needs matter. It’s time to put yourself back on your priority list. With Serene Success, you can begin this journey, one small step at a time.
4. Overachieving
Are you driven by the constant need to achieve more? You are always pushing yourself to exceed expectations and reach new heights? Do you forget to celebrate what you’ve achieved since the minute you check one thing off your list you have two dozen more?
You are not alone.
While this ambition can drive you to great success, it can also lead to burnout when you push yourself too hard without taking the time to rest, acknowledge, and celebrate.
Meet Tessa, an Insurance Account Executive and a mother of two. She’s a self proclaimed type “A” personality… the one who’s never content with ‘good enough.’ Tessa is an overachiever, always pushing herself to exceed expectations, to reach new heights, both at work and at home.
Tessa was a whirlwind of productivity and success, but beneath that, there was a growing sense of fatigue, a feeling of being fried at work, and guilt about not being fully present for her kids.
She felt like work consumed her personal life.
It’s key to acknowledge and celebrate our wins (big and small), because acknowledgement is a fuel that fills our cup and propels us forward. Acknowledge and celebrate yourself every day, continuously refilling your cup.
5. Being The “Nice” Girl
You never say “no” and often suppress your own feelings and needs to keep the peace, and maintain harmony. While being agreeable can foster harmonious relationships and success, it can also result in burnout when you continuously neglect your own needs and desires.
Meet Barbara, an Obstetrician and Gynecologist, a woman of grace and compassion. She’s the one who always goes the extra mile, the one who never says “no,” the one who keeps the peace at all costs. Barbara is the nice girl, always putting others before herself, always wanting to be liked.
Barbara was a beacon of kindness and dedication, but beneath that, there was a growing sense of exhaustion. Her health began to suffer as a result of her burnout, the consequence of continuously neglecting her own needs and desires.
She was considering quitting her job because she was so emotionally fried.
It’s so importent to prioritize self-discovery by uncovering our desires and needs. We then cultivate the ability to honor our own choices and embrace authenticity as we journey forward.
When we lead authentically, staying true to our own values, we free ourselves from the weight of being nice and instead embrace our authenticity.
3 Key Concepts
To lead a balanced, burnout-free life, understanding these three concepts is essential:
- The Job Isn’t the Problem: It’s not your job causing burnout, but how you approach it.
- Step Into Authenticity: Align with your purpose and create boundaries around your values.
- Balance Is An Inside Job: Balancing our beliefs, habits and identity is key to seeing sustainable balance in the rest of our lives.
Conclusion:
While these traits can contribute to our success, they can also lead us down the path of burnout if we’re not careful. Striving for approval, perfection, over-responsibility, constant helping, relentless achievement and pleasing others are all valuable traits in moderation. However, when they start governing our lives, it’s time to reassess and take action.
That’s why I’ve created a masterclass specifically designed to help you identify and overcome these five traps of success. In this class, you’ll learn practical strategies to balance your drive for success with authentically aligned boundaries, self-care, and rest, ensuring that you can sustain your performance over the long term without burning out.
Remember, it’s not about eliminating these traits entirely – it’s about understanding them, managing them, and making sure they serve you rather than enslave you.
So, are you ready to break free from the cycle of burnout and achieve sustainable success? Join my masterclass today and start your journey towards a more balanced and fulfilling life. You’ve got this, and I’m here to guide you every step of the way.