From Burnout to Serene Success with Hannah Tackett – Unbreakable Mompreneurs

Unbreakable Mompreneurs with Charisse Walker

Speaker: Hello, beautiful moms and entrepreneurs. My name is Sharice Walker and I’m your host of the Unbreakable Mompreneurs podcast. This is a place where we come together to learn, grow, and inspire. So sit back, relax, and let’s get started. Are you struggling with burnout? Are you trying to figure out how can I do all this stuff and you just don’t have the desired energy?

I feel you. And so today we’re going to talk about that with Hannah Tackett. So first of all, Hannah, why don’t you introduce yourself? 

Speaker 2: So my name is Tana and I’ve worked in holistic health and I’ve worked in tech for over 16 years and experienced my own really awful burnout. And since then I’ve shifted to helping others, prevent and end their own burnouts and step into life fully, integrated.

Speaker: right. So let’s talk about your story. How did you get into the. Realizing, okay, I’m burned out and now this is what I want to do is help other people not be burned out. 

Speaker 2: absolutely. So for me, it was pretty obvious. I couldn’t get out of bed. so when I burnt out, it started with what people call the Sunday scaries, but mine was starting on Friday and I just felt like my soul was being sucked out of me.

I dreaded work. I resented it. Eventually I hit a wall and I spent months in bed and I could not get up in it. Scared me because I had young babies. I was taking care of my career. I wasn’t really showing up for my marriage. and I really got to a point where it’s like, I have to solve this. Once for all, I could never experience this again because my life is on the line.

So that’s really how this journey began for me. You’re like the point where it was a pivot where I have to change the way I’m doing life because this isn’t working. That was that point for me. 

Speaker: Yeah, it’s interesting because I have a listing coming up and I hired. My ex husband, actually, so I hired him because he’s a great painter, right?

But he has a horrible time focusing. And so last night I was there staging the house and I’m like, dude, how are you going to get this done by 10 am tomorrow? And he’s like, yeah, I’ll have it done. No problem. I’ll have it done. Well, I showed up this morning and I’m like, give me a paintbrush and I start doing this wall, because like, it’s got to be done.

And so we got it done. It looks beautiful. But I thought, okay, this isn’t that big of an area that he had to do. Now, granted, there was horrible wallpaper and stuff. It was, it’s tough to pull off and stuff. And he’s going to have to go back and do the wall anyway.

But my point was, like, I started thinking about this, that, you know, Watching him struggle because he hadn’t slept for 24 hours and he like as he’s doing this I hear this You know and I just I realized that’s how we feel in life sometimes That, you know, you have this wall and it doesn’t seem like a big deal.

Like for me, I’m like, you have had four or five days to do this. What is your problem? But I don’t see how much he had to strip off of that wallpaper and how hard it was. I don’t see how much time he was spending. I’m not upset with him at all and we got it done and I appreciate what he does, but I just think a lot of times people don’t know what’s going on in our head 

It’s tough. And so it’s burnout. What are some things that you teach people how to shift their brain or what they need to do to get out of that? Or you can’t get out of bed. You know, it’s just too hard. 

Speaker 2: Right. So burnout, like you mentioned, you don’t see what’s happening leading up to it. And I think that people who are experiencing burnout.

Aren’t seeing the red flags as they’re heading towards, you know, hitting that wall or experiencing that dread to the point where they’re not showing up for work the way they want to, where it’s impacting their confidence, their performance. There are red flags to pay attention to as you’re, on that path.

And some of those are the two biggest ones. One is physical and one is emotional. The emotional one is resentment. You start feeling resentful towards. Your job, your boss, your spouse, your kids, your life in general, that’s a big red flag that you might be on a path to, where your body forces you to stop and reconcile.

and then the physical one, I think is fairly obvious, but it’s like that fatigue, that brain fog, feeling like you’re pushing like a boulder up a hill in life, things that, like you said, like that wall should be easy. Stop being easy. Like, just getting through the day is now your biggest obstacle. That is a big red flag.

It’s time to stop and reassess, before you get to the point where your body forces you to, whether I’ve had clients end up in the ER or like me just being in bed and not being able to get up. And the doctors being like, there’s nothing physically wrong with you. We ran all the tests. You’re just fried.

so you don’t want to get to that point. And if you have gotten to that point, or if you’re on your way, how do you turn it around is your question. 

Speaker 3: So 

Speaker 2: really the first thing that I found in my own journey and then in helping others is discovering what really matters to you. Like oftentimes through life, we’re Picking up all these expectations and obligations and things that we feel like we should do from everyone around us, you know, this programming that we accumulate and in the process, sometimes we forget what matters to us.

Forget what we like. We forget to take care of ourselves because we’re so busy taking care of everything and everyone else. And there are specific behaviors that can accelerate your path to burnout, whether it’s people pleasing or perfectionism or, being a helper or being the nice girl and never saying no, like all these things that lead into that path that can accelerate it or make it worse.

 but really what we need to do is identify our values and step into authentic alignment with our own values. With our own purpose. And I know, you know, if you’re flat on your back in bed, you’re like, I don’t. Care about my purpose right now. I just want to find enough energy to get through tomorrow. And that’s where I started to, but really like you do need to find out, well, what, what do you want to say yes to in your life?

Like, okay, you don’t want to be flat on your back in bed. Obviously, what else is going on that you don’t want to do? if you’re on your way to burnout, you can tap into your feelings when you’re looking at your day, when you’re spending time doing an activity, how does that activity make you feel?

Is it sucking your soul out? Or is it filling your cup? Is it in between? And you can think, apply the same kind of analysis or assessment to people, to relationships that you’re in. is it. Tearing you down or is it bringing you up? Is it neutral? Same thing with your work and your responsibilities on the job.

And once you’ve done that assessment and you’ve looked at your life, if you don’t know what your purpose is or what your values are, you’re just like, I’m not nowhere near that right now. That’s a great place to start is just how do you feel when you’re doing the activity? And if it’s something that’s sucking you down and draining you and you dread it.

It is time to say no. I know that’s like a really scary thing, but you can say no, without ever saying no. so there’s that inner game where we look at. Ourselves in our life and our relationship to our activities and what we’re doing and identify what’s working, what’s not working, what’s filling us up, what’s dragging us down.

And then the next step is really that outer game where we learn to use our, to find our voice and to say yes to what we really do want in our life and say no to what we don’t. you can say no by automating it, by delegating it, by minimizing it, by outsourcing it, or straight up just. Turning it down and there’s ways to do that.

Speaker: So, and I love that because we, as moms, we have all these balls up in there and we juggle and we do all these things. And I was that people pleaser, and I think we have to go back and it wasn’t until I actually wrote my book that I realized, well, wait a second, this isn’t okay anymore. And why do I feel like I have to please everybody?

And why do I feel like I have to outdo myself or other people? once I was able to come to terms with that and face that, I’m like, Oh, okay, so I’m done with that. I don’t need to impress anyone. I don’t need to care what you think of me. That’s your perception. And that’s your perception at the time and how you’re feeling.

And so, I remember walking into meeting this politician because I’m the county delegate in my area. And so I walked into this room a little late. as I listened to her, I’m like, I do not like her. just by the way she was talking. Well, the more and more she kept talking, the more and more I sat there, I’m like, I love her, you know?

And so I think it just depends, like, it doesn’t matter what other people think. It really, deep down, it matters what you feel like and God, you know, it’s between, it’s a relationship between those two people or whoever your God is, right? And so my question to you, which I probably haven’t gotten a lot, I wonder, is when you were in bed, And you were having a hard time.

do people say, Oh, just suck it up. And what’s your problem? Get out of bed. you need to go serve somebody. And that way you’ll stop worrying about and focusing on yourself. Like, did you have some of that negative feedback from people? 

Speaker 2: Only from myself, really? I was such an overachiever that I was so far ahead that people didn’t notice.

But I was like barely showing up. or if they did, they were like, It’s fine. she’ll be back, so yeah, I didn’t really get slack. I was expecting a lot of slack, but I didn’t get. The criticism that I was expecting. and then it was very eyeopening and that I was being harder on myself than I imagined anyone else could ever be.

and like you’re saying, like those beliefs, right. That you have to show up and that you have to make other people happy or that you have to be liked. That’s really powerful because, you know, I mentioned those behaviors, right, that drive us to burnout. They can drive us to success, but too far. You head into burnout and, you know, the perfectionism and the people pleasing and the, fear of saying no, or like being the nice girl, all of these things.

Typically when I’m talking to people, we find that it’s rooted in fear. And that’s kind of what you’re saying is like, well, there’s a fear of rejection or not belonging, or there’s a fear of, not being worthy. Yeah, not good enough, you know, and you have to prove yourself all of the time. Yeah. And like an overly critical parent, it could have been any number of experiences in life that generate these fears, but they’re there and fear is a mindset. And you just described it perfectly where you realize you had this behavior this mindset where you have to be liked by someone else and you realize actually I don’t.

And then you rewrite it. So you rewrite that fear mindset. But the first step is to realize that it’s there. Like, I’m behaving in this way and it’s rooted in this fear that I have. Maybe it’s fear of a job loss or fear of, rejection. and by understanding where the fear is, You can go, okay, so that’s my fear.

And here’s my behavior. So I can rewrite this fear because it’s just a belief. It’s not like a reality. And I discovered while I was lying in bed and I didn’t get in trouble and my fears were not reality that other people’s expectations on me were nowhere near my own expectations. And so I was like, wow, if I can get away with this, I can probably just get away with doing one person’s job.

so for me, it was a little bit of an eye opener in that way. 

Speaker: I love that. And you know, it’s interesting because I think, my parents growing up, And as you’re saying that, I’m like, well, they probably, they were really strict and they were really like the critical, I’m like looking back and thinking back through all my stuff.

They’re the most supportive people ever. Like, let’s talk about critical. I’m probably the one critical with my kids. Like, you could be doing better and I can, you know, I can see your potential. And yet my parents never did that. And so I think that it’s like, yes, I wanted their validation. I wanted their acceptance, but why?

Like they didn’t do that to me. And so it’s, in your head a lot more. And I think that it’s not even you, it’s like your brain is trying to protect you, is trying to help you, is trying to do stuff. And you really, I cannot stress the importance of self talk and like, no, I don’t believe that you’re not going to have me believe that, you know?

Speaker 2: And we’re, because we’re social creatures and we’ve, Our existence, certainly we’re historically we are so dependent on our social connections for survival points in history. Like, if you’re kicked out of the tribe, you will die. And we are wired to make sure that we belong that we are accepted by the tribe and we put ourselves in all kinds of very uncomfortable pretzel like positions to make that happen when largely that idea of being accepted is just in our own head.

If you stop doing all those things when nothing could happen in my case, nothing happened other than that. I just didn’t show up for my life for a little bit. maybe something does happen, but it ends up not being as bad as you think. we’re wired to seek out acceptance and to feel like we belong.

It’s just how far do we let that go? And how far will we let it drive us and will we let it drive us to a point of being what is essentially self destructive when we’re no longer filling our own cup and taking care of ourselves. And we ended up depleted to the point where we can’t show up and perform in our life.

Speaker: So I know we only have a couple minutes, but is that what you call authentic alignment then? Or what is authentic alignment? 

Speaker 2: authentic alignment is when you take a step back and you do that assessment of what matters to me. Where is my heart being pulled? And listening to that, like listening to you, some people feel it in their guts, some people feel it in their heart.

like what excites me, what matters to me, what am I willing to fight for? you get your values, like for me, my values where I wanted to see my kids between 4 PM and 7 PM, because that was bedtime routine and I was terrified. I was going to get booked with meetings, you know, and so, but that was 1 of my values.

And I was like, I’m going to go to bat for this. I’m saying yes to this time being blocked off. No one’s going to touch it. This is my secret time and I’m going to fight for that. And so when you say yes to something. Aligns with your values that aligns with your principles that matters to you. You’re automatically saying no to other things and it gives you that backbone and that strength to say no, because you know what you’re fighting for.

So that’s what I mean by authentic alignment, like step into authentic alignment with what matters to you. And it’s going to be a little bit different for everyone. And whatever that thing is, like it has to be something worth fighting for. Like, is this what you’re going to go to bat for? Is this what you’re saying yes to in your life?

Speaker: like that a lot. Okay, so if you had one piece of advice to give based upon everything that you’ve learned in your life, whether it be in motherhood, wife, because we barely ever talk about that, business, professional, spiritual, intellectual, physical, I don’t care, what is one piece of advice that has been something that’s been a life changer for you that, You would like to share?

Speaker 2: I think for me, tuning into my feelings as a kind of like a weather thing. So if I start to feel resentful or like, My husband should be doing more to help me, or I shouldn’t have to work so darn much, or I wish my boss wouldn’t give me these projects and those projects, whatever it is where I’m just like, that feeling that angst that little piece of resentment.

Like, that is the warning sign that whatever’s happening is pushing up against something. I value. And so I think the biggest piece of advice I can say is, hey, those negative feelings. Matter to them because they’re trying to tell you something, don’t beat yourself up for feeling resentful. Be like, thank goodness.

I feel resentful because it’s telling me something that I need to hear so I can show up as a better mom, as a better wife, as a better employee. And I can live this life in a more beautiful, empowered way, 

Speaker: I like that. And it’s also your intuition because it really does know it’s the best for you.

You just have to listen. Well, thank you. if somebody wanted to get ahold of you, how would they find you? 

Speaker 2: So you can find me at serene success. net and I have a gift there for podcast listeners and it’s a cheat sheet on how to slash your hours without having, a negative impact or damaging reputation.

And so you can find that at serene success. net slash pod pod. And, yeah, it’s a great little, cheat sheet. It’s very powerful principles that you could apply. 

Speaker: And we will put that in the notes as well. So thank you so much for coming on, Hannah. And moms and entrepreneurs, if you are starting to feel that angst and resentment, listen to that and really take the time to go and get that cheat sheet because your health is so important and making sure that you can have the energy that you need so that you can then be able to help other people.

So go out and make it a great day. All right. Thank you so much.

Beautiful moms. Remember you are unbreakable. Keep illuminating the world with your strength, pursuing your dreams and reveling in the splendor of motherhood. This is Sharice Walker bidding you farewell for now. Stay tuned for more empowering conversations on the next episode of the Unbreakable Mom For Newers podcast.